It was June 11th, Peter's birthday. His mother was in the kitchen emptying the dishwasher since her husband, Nick, had forgotten to do so - per usual.
"BIRTHDAY PARTY!" Peter shouted.
His parents had gotten together with some of the neighbors and decided to throw him a party that day. The kids would arrive later in the afternoon.
"That's right, my special little guy. I sent Dad to get all the stuff for the big day."
"Robots? Is Daddy getting me robots? I want robots!"
"He is getting all the robot things for you."
Peter left the kitchen oozing with excitement. He could be heard in the living room playing with his toys and making robot noises.
Nick walked in through the kitchen door holding a small bag.
"Is the rest of the stuff in the car?" Michelle said with an ounce of frustration.
"Nope! I got everything we need right here in this bag."
"I gave you four hundred dollars to get a birthday cake with robots. To get robot balloons. Robot hats. Robot shirts. Robot toys..." She lowered her voice because she hated the thought of Peter hearing her swear.
"How the fuck is everything in that small little bag Nick?"
Nick maintained his goofy smile.
"I know but hear me out. I went to the bakery first."
Michelle interrupted, again in a whisper.
"God damn it, Nick. Why the bakery first? It is an ice cream cake you idiot. I said to pick up the cake last."
"I know but its not an ice cream cake."
Michelle's left eye often twitched when under a lot of stress. It doubled when she must deal with her husband Nick's dumb ideas.
Her face turned slightly red. The vein on the right side of her face began pulsating, and before she could rip into how stupid this all sounded, Nick continued.
"So, I pull up to the bakery and before I walk in, I hear a guy say something to me. He appeared out of nowhere really. Pretty short fellow but he had sharp ears. Pointy more like it."
Michelle placed her hand on her forehead before it exploded from the fury building up.
"He says to me he has a cake that is better than anything you can buy at a store. So naturally, I ask him what he means."
"Oh, you ask him?" Not picking up on the sarcasm of Michelle, Nick continued.
"The little guy said it is a tiny cake. BUT, with each little bite, a wish is granted. A wish. For anything! So, I of course ask "How much is this magically awesome cake?" He said only four hundred dollars! What a deal right?"
Michelle was shaking with anger. She wished he were joking. She hoped that this buffoon of a husband did not hand this random stranger four hundred dollars for a cupcake.
Nick opened the box up and there it sat. A dark brown cake with yellow frosting. It more closely resembled a small cupcake. The frosting was just circle patterns all at the top. Nothing indicated "Happy Birthday" in the slightest. No candles in the bag either. He had forgotten those as well.
Michelle leaned in closer to Nick, grabbing him by the shirt.
"You gave a random man dressed like an elf four hundred dollars for a shitty little cupcake? Tell me why I should not kill you right fucking now."
"Because it grants wishes, Michelle. Weren't you listening?"
Michelle stood back with her eyes bulging from her face.
"I didn't listen when my mom said I was marrying a moron. I didn't listen when YOUR mom said I was marrying a moron. But now, a moron is standing here. The age of thirty-nine telling me he bought a magical cake from an elf outside a bakery."
Nick still did not grasp the gravity of the situation as he continued to defend himself.
"I am sure Peter will love it! I can explain everything to him."
Michelle laid into him.
"You dumbass! How could you even think that is possible, let alone the right fucking idea?!"
She wasn't whispering anymore. She continued to yell at Nick until Peter made his way back into the kitchen.
"Well Nick. Go ahead and explain to Peter what this is."
Michelle had her arms crossed not only to indicate her anger but also to hold back from strangling Nick in front of their son.
"I wanted a robot cake!" Peter exclaimed while staring at the small cupcake before him.
"Well little guy" Nick rubbed Peter's head.
"This here is a special cake that can grant you wishes. You can wish for..."
Like any six-year-old child, Peter did not wait to hear his father's long-winded explanation.
Instead, he took hold of the small cupcake and shoved the entire thing in his mouth. His eyes lit up as clearly the sugar had rushed to his brain. Crumbs were falling from the sides of his lips as he chewed furiously. He slammed his hands on the kitchen countertop. Crumbs continued to fall. With a mouthful of cake Peter managed to shout "ROBOTS!"
In the same speed it took Peter to stuff this cake into his mouth, did the roof of their home get ripped off. Dust and debris everywhere as the roof and other chunks of the house were flung hundreds of yards in the distance. Something enormous towered over the family. Gigantic metal limbs that stretched to the sky could be seen. Sounds of explosions and chaos as perhaps dozens of other homes began suffering the same fate.
Peter held his arms up toward the machine.
"YES! ROBOTS! Beam me up!"
A blue light shined on Peter as he teleported, most likely into the giant mechanoid being. Rockets emerged from the back of the machine. The fire emitted, scorching the yard as it flew upward and away, sounds of more explosions not far off in the distance.
Michelle looked on to see her new kitchen cabinets crumble. The driveway tore a sunder. Her lawn on fire. Neighbors screaming in terror as hundreds of robots roamed the streets only bringing destruction and chaos with them.
"I was right! I knew it! I just knew! A gut instinct is never wrong Michelle. I have been telling you for years. I am finally right!"
Nick was still oblivious to the calamity his actions caused. He was more focused on finally being right for a change. He pranced around the remaining kitchen of their home, gloating in what he thought was a victory.
Michelle's rage flowed from the veins bulging from her forehead. Her hands were clinched in fists. Her teeth could grind a nail to dust.
"How about it Michelle? Go ahead say it! Say I was right!"
"Nick...you are a dumbass."
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