Sex… What is that? “Fucking!” is the shortest answer someone could blurt out. A romantic would say “it's far more than that, for sex is love!” Then would come those who are either devout worshippers of a single deity, or the practical science-first types. They both would say sex is to create life. But those worshippers, the believers, try to shove chastity down everybody’s throat.
Before that happened, before the tsunami of prudence washed over the earth, ancient Greece threw some raunchy parties. Greek freaks everywhere, sucking and fucking and coconutting into anyone. They wrestled naked, covered in olive oil, for sport. How sexy is that? They were a more liberal type of society that people now look back on with envy. But the Greeks lost to Romans or something - conquering and war and stuff. What followed? Many years of punishment for us heathen bastards.
The chastity belt slapped across the face (or crotch) of millions was a direct result from a shift from polytheism to monotheism. All the cool gods that did weird stuff now became one guy. One guy in the sky who told a bunch of lies and people ate it up like sweet cherry pies - or so the poem goes. But let’s fast forward, past all the horrors and atrocities committed in the name of God, to modern times. (Don’t worry though, he’s still there. Judging the shit out of you.)
The sexual revolution of the 1960’s busted so hard from the hundreds of years of sexual repression from these monotheistic religions. Have we finally caught up to naked-oil-wrestling-Greece? Caught up?! Those Greeks wish they could get pegged like you can now. We have blown past them with lightning speed.
Anal? Sure! As long as everyone involved in said anal has consented. Then why the hell not? That is their freedom. Their right! Consent for a threesome? Amazing stuff. Of course, don’t cry when she enjoys it more than you did and leaves you. You consented. Piss on you? Shit on you? Dress like a tiger or bunny? Put a diaper on and call your partner “momma”? Choke you? Beat you? Tase your balls until you go crazy? As long as everyone has consented.
So why was Charlie so dang mad two weeks after his grandpa’s funeral? Because he lived in the Bible Belt of the USA, otherwise known as hell. Can’t be gay down there. No sir. Or trans…especially trans. It’s really just a horrible place of fascism and complete hypocrisy.
Did Charlie dabble? Charlie is young. He had watched porn since he was ten years old. Gay porn, trans porn, poop porn, pee porn, unicorn porn, threesome, orgy, bukkake. You name it, Charlie most certainly had seen it. Did anyone know? Of course not. Charlie was a young leader of his church.
Charlie’s grandpa was a well-respected man in his community. A church man because that stuff is generational. The funeral was large. Talked about all over his small-minded town. Charlie, charismatic as he was, gave a touching eulogy for his homophobic grandfather. Details that Charlie very intentionally left out of his dedication were that his grandpa had been found dead after nearly two days. It was a heart attack, and he was found naked.
Somehow, some nosey journalist found out and leaked the information to the press. This wasn’t ideal, but the real reason Charlie sat at home crying from anger and embarrassment? The video.
An OnlyFans video had leaked. It was shared and retweeted, then removed and posted again. Everyone knew. Everyone in Charlie’s life knew about the video. He couldn’t go anywhere without people knowing.
“Hey, they consented.” Tweeted @nAtCat88.
“If grandpa wanted it one more time after…I mean…let him cook.” Tweeted @EzZguap.
Hank Floyd Harrison, Charlie’s grandfather, had consented. He consented to being recorded, postmortem, to the notorious Rigor Mortis Rider. @RMRx9 was his handle. He was a man who fucked dead bodies, but only if they consented. He then profited from the videos using his OnlyFans account. This was part of the consent agreement also.
Poor Bible-Belt-Charlie. The humiliation of finding out your grandpa had sex with men. A sin he always warned about. But now an added sick twist - he was also getting his dead body railed like a Japanese sex doll. Charlie watched the video. He watched the entire damn thing. Why? Charlie loved porn. He didn’t really love Grandpa, but he couldn’t take his eyes off it.
Charlie’s dad had a plan. He and Charlie went to the church and asked for money to take legal action. Arguing that what was done was a criminal act and should be punished, quoting incorrect bible passages and whatnot until they agreed.
The story gained national coverage. Charlie had to play the part of grieving grandchild while watching porn alone on his phone at night just to get some rest.
It should be totally fine, seeing that the video included him consenting to the sex after he died. Apparently, Hank had heart problems and wanted to die fucking a man. And then once more, being fucked after he was dead. So, Charlie and his dad went with some murder angle, but ultimately, they couldn’t prove it. Rigor Mortis Rider had some good lawyers from California that took the case pro bono.
More videos leaked. Others rose to fame. There was the “Cold Lips Kisser,” another OnlyFans streamer of consenting adults who deeply desired to get their dead bodies fucked once more. Don’t forget Frankenstein Fucker. Morgue Muncher, Dead Dick Danny, and so on. Was it getting out of control? It’s America. Everything is out of control. But what’s wrong with seeking a little something after you kick the bucket? What harm can come of necrophilia if everyone has consented? Sure, perhaps a boom in the fetish, but again - there was consent!
But what harm did come from this? Take Charlie for example. Is he a victim? He would say yes. He would say it's not his fault that he feels so aroused when driving past a funeral home. He would say it's not his fault for thinking about digging up a body for a little action. But Charlie isn’t a victim because his grandpa consented to having sex after he died. He was a victim of a porn addiction. And perhaps the twisted world of monetizing everything like dead body fucking.
We have evolved now to a world that ancient Greece would envy. So long white Jesus and your horrible prudish rules and hello beautiful consent! And while consent is wonderful and amazing to talk about and something everyone needs to do there also needs to be one thing. Something people are just too darn scared to do in these modern times of anal beads and penis torture devices. Kink shaming. Kink shame dead body fucking, because now people have to spend more money on caskets. Living in fear from the rising fetish of necrophilia. Do you know the lengths horny teenagers will go to?
If you are really scared, then make sure to buy the triple body locker casket. A tungsten casket that even the horniest, porn-addicted teenagers lusting over a dead body can’t break into.
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